Twas the Night Before Christmas: A Modern Twist

by Lindsey Winsemius - Posted 5 years ago

What the famous poem by Clement Clark Moore might have sounded like had he written it today.

Happy Holidays, and enjoy!

A Visit from the FedEx Man

'Twas the night before Christmas, And all on the Web 
No one is sleeping, They're googling instead.
Looking at pictures, hashtags and memes,
Of cats, dogs, babies, and angry political themes.

The children are tweeting and texting in bed,
While visions of iPads dance in their heads.
And Mama is Pinning while I watch football;
We've still got to make one more trip to the mall.

Then out on the curb there arose such a clatter,
I muted the TV to hear what was the matter.
Through the security camera bluetoothed to my phone,
I peered at the yard to see what was wrong.

From the glow of my neighbors new LED lights,
And the flashlight on my phone shining bright
I could see a big truck that just hit the trash bin
That I was too busy Facebooking to remember to bring in.
With a little old driver, so smartly dressed,
I knew in a moment it must be FedEx.
I jumped from the couch and ran to the door,
Leaving my laptop, tablet, and Nook on the floor.

"Now dangit! Now darn, now this is so vexing,"
Muttered the driver as he was texting.
He came to the porch, juggling them all
Still texting and muttering "Dangit, dangit all!"

As quickly as Snapchat photos fade away,
He dropped the boxes and was then on his way.
Like a bat out of hell down the street he flew
To deliver more packages, and still texting too.

I must snap a picture to post on my wall!
The packages I ordered have arrived after all!
I tweeted the kids, I texted my wife.
On Facebook I've already gotten a 'like'!

Oh wonderful delivered-by-Christmas guarantee;
I had doubts, but you've made a believer of me!
The iPhone, the iPad, Kindle and Tablets are all here!
I laughed, I smiled; I even gave a loud cheer!

The joy of the season was bursting anew
I sent it by Snapchat, by Facebook and Instagram too;
Pinterest, Twitter, and every share icon in sight-
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Written by Lindsey Winsemius, based on the poem A Visit from St. Nicholas written by Clement Clarke Moore in 1822